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Life has a weird way of working. Sometimes you're more closed up than an armadillo deflecting bullets, other times you're as open as a balloon surrendered in the wind, not knowing when you might pop and go back to the shell.
I'm gonna talk about a particular incident that happened three years ago. I was working in a particular place, and since I needed the money, I took on a lot of work, roughly 50 hours a week for at least 2 months, so I when I heard that I could get a holiday, I nabbed a two-week one. Now, the work that I was doing wasn't hard in any particular way, just tiresome, annoying, and filled with people that were mentally de-stimulating me. I'd pretty much get home, stare at the wall for ten minutes, then pass out until the next morning when the roller coaster started again. And that maybe one day off I had was spent trying to get (already lost by that point) sanity back. Would not recommend it. So, on this holiday, I decided I'd do something that I've wanted to do for a while now, and that was to paint. Granted, I hadn't painted anything in over 13 years, in grade school, and that was only watercolor paint, but I figured I'd try some oil ones now. I was mesmerized with the paintings of this Russian painter. Look at that, it's flippin' gorgeous, man. During that first week when I was glazed-eyed, burned out, wondering if my brain was starting to look like mushy peas, I figured I'd try my hand at doing Clapham Common, a park near where I lived and worked. And, yes, I know it's terrible, but I've never been good at painting, drawing, sketching, or anything visual. What I'd like to talk say by this is that ruining your health for a job that spits you out and brings in another straight away is not worth it. Also, roughly 2 months after this I did a gig. Little did I know that it was the last gig and a signal for things to come for a while. As an introvert, I know it's hard, very hard, to talk to people, more so since you might not have someone to confide in. Again, you might meet people, or might rekindle something from the past. But if not, try not to stay in that shell all the time. I've been there way too many times in the past 10 years. If it wasn't for school, would've been longer than that. As Fannie Lou Hamer said, "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired." Until it comes back again. And it will. Just when any of us least expect it.
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AuthorWriting fictional stories or about real life people and situations. Archives
August 2021
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